Before My First Mothers Day

Mothers Day. This was such an exciting day growing up as we would celebrate my mom all day long. We would get flowers, make cards, and help dad plan a special day for her. It wasn't until I got married and started having a desire for a baby that I realized Mothers Day is a tough holiday for many. In fact, Mothers Day can be a super sad day for a lot of people and I'm not just referring to people that desire a baby but also people that have lost a mother. My mom lost her mother at a young age so for her, there has always been something missing.

Six months after we got married, I experienced my first Mothers Day from a different perspective. I can vividly remember thinking to myself, "I hope next year I get to celebrate this day as a mother or at least a mother-to-be." We knew we didn't want to wait long to have kids so this was a perfectly normal thought. Fast forward 12 months and here we are at Mothers Day again but this time, no baby and no bump. We were full force in to trying so I wasn't too upset but I can remember feeling a small void in my heart but I tried to remain positive as surely next year was my year.

365 days pass again and this time we had been trying for over a year and still nothing. I had just been referred to a fertility specialist and a high risk doctor. The high risk doctor told me it wasn't safe for me to get pregnant because of my Crohns and I knew that a baby wasn't anywhere in my near future. This was last year and it was the hardest day of the entire year.

I didn't want to go to church but I went anyways. I didn't want to watch all the mothers stand and be recognized when my heart was aching for a baby. I didn't want to hear one more person say "isn't it about time for yall to have kids". I didn't want to be on social media the entire day because I couldn't bare to see all the moms posting pictures of their babies or cute bump pictures or pregnancy announcements. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't even acknowledge my own mom on Facebook last year. I cried ALL DAY LONG. Craw can attest to this. I cried the entire church service. I cried at home while cooking lunch for my own mother. It was just a BAD day.

I made Craw promise to take me out of town the next year because I couldn't sit through one more Mothers Day. I love my mom and my mother-in-law but we had already planned to let them know we would be out of town. I just couldn't do it. Thankfully, we didn't have to because God had a perfect plan all along.

Last Mothers Day, adoption was not even on our radar. Craw had already told me we weren't adopting first. The high risk doctor had just told me that he didn't think it was wise for me to get pregnant right now so I legit thought all hope was lost. In fact, it was the first year where I didn't look ahead thinking maybe next Mother's Day I would have my baby because I realized it wasn't in the cards for us.

Here I am, 365 days later, with a perfect little boy that has let me and his daddy love him for 4 perfect months. In fact, if you do the math, his birth mama was already pregnant with him last mothers day and he was a little tiny thing growing in her belly. Our baby that God handpicked for us was already being formed while I sat in church bitter and crying and begging God to grant the desires of my heart. He was already intended for us by God an entire month before we answered God's call to adopt. How amazing is that?

All this to say, I have every single emotion running through me while thinking about my first Mothers Day. I'm excited because I can finally celebrate as a mama. I'm honored because God gave me the most perfect little boy. I'm thankful because God granted the biggest desire in my heart. I'm also sad because I know that there are so many women out there that want this exact same desire to be fulfilled. There are also women that have lost babies and children and this day is extremely painful for them. Then there are those women that are facing their 1st...or 10th...or 25th Mothers Day without their moms and that is something that is hard for me to fathom because I love my mom so very much.

This day is for all of us.

The moms that aren't moms yet. The moms that just became moms. The moms that have been moms for years. And the moms that are no longer with us.


This will be a memorable first Mothers Day for me and I'm so thankful that God saw fit for me to be Camden's mama.

1. 

The Mama that made me a Mama

It is not lost on me that there is a woman, somewhere in the United States, that thinks about Camden daily. She has no idea his name is Camden or that he is living in NC. She probably often wonders what he looks like, did he find a good home, is he loved, is he healthy, etc.

This woman, wherever she is, is my HERO.

This woman is Camden's birth mama.

We never got to meet her. Our adoption is a closed one so I'm not sure that we ever will. I like to think that maybe one day I can meet her because there is so much I would love to tell her. For starters, I want her to know how much we love her. She chose to carry a healthy baby boy full term when we all know she could have easily chosen another path. I don't know what her circumstances were that made her feel adoption was the best option for her son but all I know is I literally owe everything to her. Her sacrifice made me a mama.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and what she is doing. It was my prayer from the very beginning that God would give her peace that her son found a loving home. We will always honor her in our home and when Camden is old enough to understand, we will talk about her and tell him what we do know about her. Craw and I knew from the very beginning we wanted to be as transparent as possible with Camden when he gets older and it excites me to one day tell him about his birth mama.

I'm very passionate about honoring all birth moms. I know that not all babies are born in to ideal circumstances and some babies are exposed to harsh drugs. It's so important that these mamas not be judged but be loved instead. Adoption is the gateway to showing the love of Jesus to women (and men) that may be living in some tough circumstances that haven't always made the best choices. 

After all, isn't that what Jesus wants us to do?

Camden's Baby Dedication

 

Camden was dedicated to the Lord on April 15, 2018. Craw and I stood before our family, friends, and church family and promised to raise him in a loving, Christ-centered home and to do our best to set the foundation of his faith. Our number one goal is for him to see two parents that love the Lord and do their best to serve Him daily. Our hope is that one day, Camden will make the choice to follow Christ and accept Him as his Savior. It doesn't matter how good Camden is at sports or academics (although they are great) as long as He loves the Lord and pursues God's plans for his life, we will always be proud of him. That is why it is so important to us that we set the foundation at an early age.

It was the very best day and Camden looked so cute in his dedication outfit. He decided that he wanted the whole church to hear him scream during the prayer and talking but I decided to just embrace it. After all, he is a baby! We celebrated with a delicious Parker's lunch after the dedication and it was so nice to have all of my family together.



 He was all smiles to begin with...

This picture makes me LAUGH! This is when he decided that he was over it...my eyes show exactly what I was thinking.

Camden Ivey | Three Months

Our sweet guy turned 3 months old yesterday. I've always heard the phrase "time flies" but never truly understood it until we got Camden. He has grown so much over the last month and every day is so exciting with him.


Weight

We are thinking at least 15 pounds. We didn't go to the doctor this month but the last time we went, he was 13 pound 8 ounces so I'm pretty sure he has hit 15 by now.

Eat

He is eating 6 ounces every 3-4 hours during the day. Around week 11, he decided he didn't want to finish his bottles and I think it was due to a developmental leap. However, he seems to be back on track now. He is getting 6 bottles a day right now.

Sleep

Camden has always been a really great sleeper. He goes down around 9 pm each night and is generally making it until 5-5:30 before he is ready for a bottle. We did have one morning where I had to wake him up at 6:45 but that has only happened once. While it would be nice to drop that 5-5:30 feeding, it's kind of nice because he always goes back to sleep and on weekends, he will easily sleep until 8-8:30. He will occasionally wake up in the middle of the night and cry out but he usually goes back to sleep once we give him his paci or pat his back and let him know we are there. He is still swaddled for now but I know we will need to stop soon. I'm dreading it because we tried two nights ago to get him to sleep the whole night in a sleep sack and he woke up every 30 minutes since his arms weren't swaddled. I don't think he's quite ready so hopefully in another week or two, he will be better when we transition him.

Milestones

This month was so fun with Camden. He is really starting to get his personality and his smiles melt my heart. This month he spent the night away with his Mimi and Pappy for the first time and he did great. He also celebrated his daddy and Mimi's birthdays. He has really developed some leg strength and loves to stand up while you hold him. He is talking up a storm and his pitch is getting higher. He experienced his first Easter and was dedicated this month...a post on that coming soon. He also made the Louisburg paper as the Franklin Face.

Likes

He loves being outside and going for walks in the stroller. We transitioned him to the actual stroller seat instead of the infant carrier and he LOVES it. He also loves to smile and talk. He hasn't laughed yet but I can tell it's coming. He is also obsessed with ceiling fans and lights but I think that is every baby in general. He is starting to notice his toys and will grab them and try to put them in his mouth.

Dislikes

Oh my word, he hates being hot and he hates being held too much. He doesn't mind to be held for a few minutes but he will start to squirm and then scream if he is held for too long. The minute we put him down, he is instantly happy. I think he gets hot when people hold him and that boy is the most hot natured baby I have ever met.

Clothes

He is in 3 month clothes. I can tell his sleepers are starting to get a little small so we will be moving up to 3-6 month any day now.

Camden Ivey, you are so very special to us. I didn't know life could be this special and it's all because of you. When I'm having a rough day, your smile will instantly brighten it. Mommy had some bumps in the road this month but you sure did take them like a champ and never seemed to mind. You are a 'go with the flow' baby unless you're hot or hungry. We love you so incredibly much and I'm excited to see what the next month holds.

Adoption Story Part Six: Welcome Home Camden Ivey



In case you missed them:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

It's my final recap of our adoption journey to Florida. I'm so thankful that I can look back on these blog posts and relive the entire experience. Adoption has truly been our greatest blessing. While it hasn't been easy, it was WORTH IT! We are still waiting for our adoption to be finalized. There are two court hearings that have to happen in order for it to be finalized. I will share more about those as they happen but todays post is all about Camden's homecoming.

As I mentioned in the last post, we decided to stop halfway and spend the night. Travelling 10 hours with a newborn does not sound fun so we knew it would be best to break it up. Camden was a champ and did so good in the car. He only had one small episode where we had to take an exit and let him calm down. He pretty much slept the entire time.

We arrived back home around 4:00 pm on Friday, February 2nd. When we left for Florida, our house was a wreck and there was no nursery. It was a room filled with Christmas boxes. We arrived home to a clean house, a beautiful nursery, tons of gifts, family waiting for us, and our sweet precious Hank waiting to greet us at the door. We missed Hank so much so it was the absolute best to see his happy self running full force at us. We had a bow on our mailbox and a banner welcoming Camden home. It was the absolute perfect homecoming surprise.

I will let the pictures do the talking but I did want to take a minute and thank every single person that played a part in our adoption story. There is no way we could have done this alone. We literally had nothing when we left for Florida and 3 months later I am still getting gifts/clothes from random strangers. We have the best friends and family and are so thankful to live in such a supportive community. Camden Ivey is one blessed little boy and I will always make sure he knows that. Here are a few pictures from the day/weekend we came home.