WE ARE MATCHED

It is hard to believe I am typing the words that we are matched but here we are!

We went active with the agency on January 8 and we were matched on February 18. We feel honored to be chosen by our birth mom to parent her son that is due June 25. I cannot believe that we will be parents to two sweet boys come June. It feels surreal.

I am not sure how much I am going to be able to blog this time around because Camden keeps us busy but I do want to try to capture the highlights of the adoption process.

The matching process was entirely new to us since we did not experience it with Camden. I was so excited to start receiving birth mother profile sheets and we received 2 the night we went active. I try to be very transparent in regards to our adoption process and I was definitely not prepared for what it would be like when reviewing the profile sheets. It was so hard not to feel instantly connected to the women and their stories. Some of their stories were completely heartbreaking. We presented to the first BM due with a baby girl and 1 week later, found out she chose another family. That was really tough on me and I did not expect to feel so sad when we were not selected. 

Craw and I chose to present to another BM that was due in June. We decided to guard our hearts this time in case she didn't pick us. I contacted the agency last Monday to see if she had made a selection and they told us she was still trying to make a decision but she did find out she was pregnant with a baby boy. I decided to surprise Craw and Camden with a small gender reveal just in case she did pick us. I also knew I couldn't keep it a secret so last Monday, Craw popped a blue confetti popper and it was fun to live in the moment.

On Thursday, I received an email from the agency saying that the BM had chosen us to parent her baby. I honestly couldn't believe it and it was such a fun surprise. We have spent the past weekend trying to grasp what life will be like with 2 boys. The baby is due in June and we will be spending the next 4 months preparing our hearts and home to love this new baby boy. We will travel to Florida once the agency notifies us that she is going in to labor. We are not sure if we will be allowed in the hospital due to Covid protocol so we will just take it one moment at time. Right now, our BM is 22 weeks and baby is the size of a red bell pepper. It is going to be fun following along in the app to see how the baby grows each week.

Adoption #2

I guess it's true what they say, as a first time mom, I had all the time to write my thoughts down on paper. Here we are halfway through our second adoption and I have yet to write anything. Time has been flying and life has been hectic with the holidays, quarantine, and the home study. 

So here is where we are...

We completed the home study and were officially home study approved on December 24th but we received the home study in the mail on January 2nd. It was a great mail day! Once we received the home study, I contacted the agency and we completed all of the paperwork for them and I also ordered our profile book. On January 8th, we were officially and active waiting family.

We submitted the paperwork and home study to the agency on the 8th around 5:30 pm and by 7:00, the agency had already emailed us two birth mother profiles. This is new territory for us because we never matched with a birth mother for Camden's adoption. Seeing the profiles of these beautiful women and their due dates made it feel VERY real and it was a bit emotional. Craw and I spent all weekend looking at those two profiles and daydreaming of the baby that might be ours.

On Monday, we said "yes" to one of the birth mothers and now we are waiting to hear back from her. It has been an exhausting week and I have tried to keep busy but this whole waiting game is an entirely new emotion for me. To be honest, it is really difficult to see the gender of a baby and the due date and not dream of that baby belonging to us some day. I am trying to focus on all of the good things and not get my hopes up but I would be lying if I said I wasn't anxious.

One night this week, I sat in the recliner around midnight and all I could do was pray for these beautiful women that are choosing life for their baby. I pray that they feel loved and safe and that they can feel empowered when making the best choice for their baby. 

So this is where we are...just waiting...and hoping...and praying! Hopefully, I will have more news to share soon. 

2020

Goodness, what a year it has been and we still have about a month and a half left. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED THIS YEAR. 

I'm not even sure where to start.

COVID

I guess the first thing to mention is the global pandemic that shut down the world. I cant even describe the chaos the coronavirus has caused. My job sent everyone home on March 18th to work from home and we are still working from home with no return date in sight. The first 2 months of "quarantine" were spent navigating working from home and life with a 2 year old that we decided to keep home from daycare. With my immune system, we weren't sure how I would do with the virus so we decided to play it safe. My mom helped out greatly and it was fun having Camden around so much. In May, we decided to send him back to daycare and we have adjusted to a new "normal" with having to wear masks in public and social distancing. Its been a very odd year.

NEW HOUSE

This was a big turn of events for our family and one that we did not see coming. With the global pandemic, mortgage interest rates dropped dramatically and the housing market started booming. In April, Craw and I started talking about desiring more space when it came to raising our family. We especially wanted a backyard with plenty of space for kids to play. While it was the perfect time to sell, we had a hard time trying to figure out if we wanted to build or buy and the cost of building. In June, a long time family friend decided it was time to downsize her home. She had the perfect corner lot with the most perfect house we could ever imagine. We weren't sure if it would work out but we decided to commit it to prayer. Within a couple weeks, our old house was under contract and she had accepted our offer on the new house. Everything fell in to place and we closed on our new house August 14. It was a whirlwind summer with packing and moving but we have loved every second of making our new house a home.

ADOPTION #2

Surprise! Another twist to the crazy year 2020 is we feel God is calling us to expand our family through adoption again. We are so excited for this journey and are well underway to bringing home Baby Bolton 2.0. I will do another post with more details on this exciting new adventure.

As you can see, there is a big reason why things have been radio silent for me. I'm hoping to get back in to the swing of things because I really would like to blog our journey to Baby #2. Fun things are happening for us and I can't wait to see the journey unfold. 

Happy 1st Gotcha Day

Per Wikipedia, "Gotcha Day marks the day a family came physically together, separate from the legalities; ""We gotcha" is a phrase that acknowledges when another way of life began. Simply saying "Adoption Day" does not differentiate between our children's placement and finalization dates, so "Gotcha Day" is a less confusing name for us."

One thing that I found in the adoption process is families celebrate milestones in their own way. Some families celebrate Gotcha Day as the day the adoption is finalized. Craw and I decided that we wanted Camden's Gotcha Day to be the day we held him in our arms the very first time. Today, January 18th, is Camden's first Gotcha Day.

We officially laid eyes on Camden 365 days ago at 11:12 am. It came after a full night of driving, sleeping in the car, filling out paperwork, and talking with the doctors. The wait was pure agony. But it was so worth it.

Happy Gotcha Day Camden! While your birthday will always be a special day that we will celebrate, January 18th is just as important to your daddy and I and we will always celebrate it. We love you.



My Baby is ONE

One year ago today, you entered this world at 6:24 AM. You were born 7 hours before your daddy and I ever knew you existed. While I don't know your birth mother, I like to imagine her as this beautiful angel that knew we needed you and that you needed us. It was 1:33 pm when I got the call from the agency that changed our life. It was that moment when my heart was filled with so much love for a little 7 pound 12 ounce baby boy that was waiting on his mama and daddy in Florida. The agency sent us the cutest pictures of you and I studied every inch of you from those pictures. I couldn't wait to hold you in my arms.

We arrived in Florida the next morning and anxiously awaited the moment we would meet you. My heart was beating so fast and I could hardly concentrate on all of the papers we were signing. At 11:12 am on January 18th, we met you for the first time and I'm pretty sure time stood still. This is what I like to call your "gotcha" day because it was the moment where I realized you were my baby.

The past year has been the fastest of my life. The first couple of months was us trying to figure out your schedule which seemed to constantly change. We went with the flow and you were the best baby. You rarely cried unless you were hungry or hot and you slept good from moment we met you. We also spent the first 5 months trying to finalize your adoption which was made official on June 28th. That's the day we call our "forever family day" and it was a huge milestone. The next six months were spent watching you grow from a baby to a toddler. The moment you learned how to crawl, you were everywhere. You've always been our active baby. Your personality and smile still melt me and I like to say that you are our happy baby.

You are our perfect miracle and proof that God's timing is always perfect. We prayed for you every single night and never in my wildest dreams did I think God would answer our prayers so quickly in the process. Watching you grow has been the greatest adventure of a lifetime for your daddy and I and we can't wait to see all of the new things you learn this year.

Happy Birthday my sweet boy. I pray that you will live a long and healthy life filled with love, joy, and following God's calling. He has BIG plans for you and it is our honor to watch them unfold. We love you more than all the toys in Walmart.  

National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness month. I have been very sentimental this past week thinking about how much adoption has changed my life. I can vividly remember celebrating this month last year. We had just finished up our home study and were waiting for the final copy to be mailed to us. We were unsure of so many things but trusting that 2018 would be the year.

If you had told me that 2 months after taking the picture below we would be holding our sweet boy, I would have laughed and not believed you.

January 17, 2018 completely changed our lives.

I can't even fathom what that day would have been like if we had said "no" when God firmly called us to adopt.

 I try not to think of the "what ifs" too much but it does cross my mind from time to time. Our agency was the third agency the hospital called. They had never worked with the hospital that Camden was born at...in fact, it wasn't even in the same city as our agency.

God is GOOD!

I am so passionate about adoption. I know what it's like to be the only one in the relationship feeling the call. I know the pain of hearing your partner say "I just don't think adoption is for us". I also know what it's like to see God do a 180 in a person's life and completely wreck their own agenda. I love hearing Craw tell our story because it truly is amazing how far we have come. In fact, Craw would adopt again tomorrow if it were up to him.

All of this to say, I know God is nudging so many people right now and there are so many that are on the fence. All I can say is DO IT! It has forever changed my life and the lives of those around me. Most days I forget that he is adopted but every now and then, I get a glimpse of a baby that came from brokenness. I see a mama that had to make a painfully hard, yet super brave choice. A baby that laid in a hospital room for an entire day waiting for his mama and daddy to get there and save him.

Camden is our perfect miracle.

He is the reason we celebrate adoption month and why we will do everything in our power to promote awareness and encourage those around us.

Legally Ours | Adoption Finalization

June 28, 2018 will be a day that I never forget. It was the day that our "Baby Doe" became Camden Ivey Bolton forever. It is surreal that our adoption journey is over and I don't think it has quite sunk in yet. It seems like yesterday when I announced we were adopting and here we are 11 months since that announcement and our son is legally ours. God is good!

I have intentionally left our court hearings off of the blog as I didn't want to say anything until the adoption was finalized. With adoption, there are 2 different court hearings that have to happen before the adoption is considered finalized. The first is the termination of parental rights and that court hearing was on April 13th. Although our birth mom had already signed over her rights, a judge has to officially declare the termination of parental rights. Our lawyer represented us so we did not have to travel back to Florida for that hearing. Everything went good and it was a relief to have that court date behind us.

Our agency had to wait 30 days after the termination of parental rights before they could request a date for the finalization hearing. In the back of my mind, I was thinking we would probably finalize sometime in July but God surprised us again with a June court date. This was a blessing as Florida requires a post placement visit with our social worker once a month until the adoption is finalized. Those visits are NOT cheap so it was a blessing that we did not have to pay for a visit in June. Another surprise was that we finalized on the same day that Shannon finalized her adoption. How crazy is that?

Our hearing was scheduled for 9:45 AM yesterday and we had to have a notary present with us. At 9:43 AM, my phone rang and it was the judge as well as our lawyer. It was such a cool experience as our notary had to swear us in under oath and then the judge proceed to ask us to state our full names. Our lawyer then asked us a series of questions and Craw went first.

The questions were:

Do you understand that if something happens to your marriage, by granting this adoption, either one of you can sue for custody of this child?

And either one of you could have a child support obligation?

And this child becomes your legal heir as if born to you?

And knowing that, do you wish to proceed?

Are you asking this court to change the child's name? If so, what is the name you are requesting.

Short. Sweet. And to the point. We both took turns answering the questions and at 9:49 AM, the judge legally declared Camden our son.

We have treated him as our son since the day he was born. Even though we didn't meet him until his 2nd day of life, he was already our son in our hearts. However, legally he was not our son and we were seen as his guardians. There is so much joy, thankfulness, and love in my heart knowing that he is mine forever. It is also bittersweet that our adoption journey is now over.

We ended the day by celebrating with both of our families. We enjoyed a nice dinner at Pauls and Camden even sat in a high chair for the first time and loved it. He also now has a tooth so this has been a BIG week for us. We love this boy more than words can even describe and are so blessed that God chose us to be his parents.



Before My First Mothers Day

Mothers Day. This was such an exciting day growing up as we would celebrate my mom all day long. We would get flowers, make cards, and help dad plan a special day for her. It wasn't until I got married and started having a desire for a baby that I realized Mothers Day is a tough holiday for many. In fact, Mothers Day can be a super sad day for a lot of people and I'm not just referring to people that desire a baby but also people that have lost a mother. My mom lost her mother at a young age so for her, there has always been something missing.

Six months after we got married, I experienced my first Mothers Day from a different perspective. I can vividly remember thinking to myself, "I hope next year I get to celebrate this day as a mother or at least a mother-to-be." We knew we didn't want to wait long to have kids so this was a perfectly normal thought. Fast forward 12 months and here we are at Mothers Day again but this time, no baby and no bump. We were full force in to trying so I wasn't too upset but I can remember feeling a small void in my heart but I tried to remain positive as surely next year was my year.

365 days pass again and this time we had been trying for over a year and still nothing. I had just been referred to a fertility specialist and a high risk doctor. The high risk doctor told me it wasn't safe for me to get pregnant because of my Crohns and I knew that a baby wasn't anywhere in my near future. This was last year and it was the hardest day of the entire year.

I didn't want to go to church but I went anyways. I didn't want to watch all the mothers stand and be recognized when my heart was aching for a baby. I didn't want to hear one more person say "isn't it about time for yall to have kids". I didn't want to be on social media the entire day because I couldn't bare to see all the moms posting pictures of their babies or cute bump pictures or pregnancy announcements. In fact, I'm pretty sure I didn't even acknowledge my own mom on Facebook last year. I cried ALL DAY LONG. Craw can attest to this. I cried the entire church service. I cried at home while cooking lunch for my own mother. It was just a BAD day.

I made Craw promise to take me out of town the next year because I couldn't sit through one more Mothers Day. I love my mom and my mother-in-law but we had already planned to let them know we would be out of town. I just couldn't do it. Thankfully, we didn't have to because God had a perfect plan all along.

Last Mothers Day, adoption was not even on our radar. Craw had already told me we weren't adopting first. The high risk doctor had just told me that he didn't think it was wise for me to get pregnant right now so I legit thought all hope was lost. In fact, it was the first year where I didn't look ahead thinking maybe next Mother's Day I would have my baby because I realized it wasn't in the cards for us.

Here I am, 365 days later, with a perfect little boy that has let me and his daddy love him for 4 perfect months. In fact, if you do the math, his birth mama was already pregnant with him last mothers day and he was a little tiny thing growing in her belly. Our baby that God handpicked for us was already being formed while I sat in church bitter and crying and begging God to grant the desires of my heart. He was already intended for us by God an entire month before we answered God's call to adopt. How amazing is that?

All this to say, I have every single emotion running through me while thinking about my first Mothers Day. I'm excited because I can finally celebrate as a mama. I'm honored because God gave me the most perfect little boy. I'm thankful because God granted the biggest desire in my heart. I'm also sad because I know that there are so many women out there that want this exact same desire to be fulfilled. There are also women that have lost babies and children and this day is extremely painful for them. Then there are those women that are facing their 1st...or 10th...or 25th Mothers Day without their moms and that is something that is hard for me to fathom because I love my mom so very much.

This day is for all of us.

The moms that aren't moms yet. The moms that just became moms. The moms that have been moms for years. And the moms that are no longer with us.


This will be a memorable first Mothers Day for me and I'm so thankful that God saw fit for me to be Camden's mama.

1. 

The Mama that made me a Mama

It is not lost on me that there is a woman, somewhere in the United States, that thinks about Camden daily. She has no idea his name is Camden or that he is living in NC. She probably often wonders what he looks like, did he find a good home, is he loved, is he healthy, etc.

This woman, wherever she is, is my HERO.

This woman is Camden's birth mama.

We never got to meet her. Our adoption is a closed one so I'm not sure that we ever will. I like to think that maybe one day I can meet her because there is so much I would love to tell her. For starters, I want her to know how much we love her. She chose to carry a healthy baby boy full term when we all know she could have easily chosen another path. I don't know what her circumstances were that made her feel adoption was the best option for her son but all I know is I literally owe everything to her. Her sacrifice made me a mama.

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of her and what she is doing. It was my prayer from the very beginning that God would give her peace that her son found a loving home. We will always honor her in our home and when Camden is old enough to understand, we will talk about her and tell him what we do know about her. Craw and I knew from the very beginning we wanted to be as transparent as possible with Camden when he gets older and it excites me to one day tell him about his birth mama.

I'm very passionate about honoring all birth moms. I know that not all babies are born in to ideal circumstances and some babies are exposed to harsh drugs. It's so important that these mamas not be judged but be loved instead. Adoption is the gateway to showing the love of Jesus to women (and men) that may be living in some tough circumstances that haven't always made the best choices. 

After all, isn't that what Jesus wants us to do?

Adoption Story Part Six: Welcome Home Camden Ivey



In case you missed them:

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five

It's my final recap of our adoption journey to Florida. I'm so thankful that I can look back on these blog posts and relive the entire experience. Adoption has truly been our greatest blessing. While it hasn't been easy, it was WORTH IT! We are still waiting for our adoption to be finalized. There are two court hearings that have to happen in order for it to be finalized. I will share more about those as they happen but todays post is all about Camden's homecoming.

As I mentioned in the last post, we decided to stop halfway and spend the night. Travelling 10 hours with a newborn does not sound fun so we knew it would be best to break it up. Camden was a champ and did so good in the car. He only had one small episode where we had to take an exit and let him calm down. He pretty much slept the entire time.

We arrived back home around 4:00 pm on Friday, February 2nd. When we left for Florida, our house was a wreck and there was no nursery. It was a room filled with Christmas boxes. We arrived home to a clean house, a beautiful nursery, tons of gifts, family waiting for us, and our sweet precious Hank waiting to greet us at the door. We missed Hank so much so it was the absolute best to see his happy self running full force at us. We had a bow on our mailbox and a banner welcoming Camden home. It was the absolute perfect homecoming surprise.

I will let the pictures do the talking but I did want to take a minute and thank every single person that played a part in our adoption story. There is no way we could have done this alone. We literally had nothing when we left for Florida and 3 months later I am still getting gifts/clothes from random strangers. We have the best friends and family and are so thankful to live in such a supportive community. Camden Ivey is one blessed little boy and I will always make sure he knows that. Here are a few pictures from the day/weekend we came home.