Life/Health Update

It has been a while since I last posted. Life has been barreling full steam ahead and I have been cherishing every moment in preparation of my first Crohns surgery. I knew this would eventually happen but I never imagined I would be having surgery with a 13 month old at home. I am feeling prepared and ready to get this behind me.

 

I feel like Camden knows something is about to be different because he has been super clingy the past week. We have a game plan for him and my prayer is that he wont even notice things are different. I will have to be in the hospital up to a week after the surgery so we are thankful that both sets of grandparents are able to help us out.

 

I am starting to get anxious about the surgery. I know this is pretty routine for a Crohns patient but it doesn't make it any easier. My prayer is that this will put me in remission so that I can enjoy my life without fear of ending up in the hospital every 6 months due to a flare. I know that Gods got this and in the end this will be a distant memory.

If you read this before Tuesday, March 5th, say some prayers for me.

First Time Mom and Crohns Disease

 

Two months before we got the call to get Camden, I was battling a Crohns flare in the hospital. It's not something I broadcasted as I didn't want to take a chance of ANYTHING messing up the adoption. Truth be told, I was terrified. I'm not even sure if that is something that could have messed up the process because we were very honest with our social worker about my health issues. Crohns is not something that could prevent someone from adopting but I wasn't sure how it would look to be in the middle of the process and in the hospital.

That flare terrified me as I knew I was getting closer to being a mom and wasn't sure how in the heck I would be able to care for a child and care for myself. I barely had the energy to finish out a work day, let alone do all of the mom things once I had worked a full 8 hour day.

To my surprise, being a mom with a chronic illness has not been as hard as I thought. My health has done a somewhat decent job of letting me be the best mom that I can be to Camden. Now don't get me wrong, there have been some very tough days. Back in April I went through a flare and was in the hospital for 3.5 days. That was brutal and was my toughest stay because I missed my baby so much. I remember laying there and sobbing because I kept thinking how unfair it was that my body was taking me away from being a mother. Then I quickly realized it could always be worse and while I may have been away for 3.5 days, I bounced back and Camden was well taken care of the whole time. The hospital even let him come see me for an hour and that gave me the boost I needed to get better and go home.

I think the biggest thing for me to succeed as a mom that battles a chronic illness is to listen to my body. When I'm tired, I rest. When I need a monitor free night, Craw takes the monitor or Camden goes and stays with his grandparents. Craw plays a HUGE part in my success as a mother. He is a wonderful dad and he can quickly take the reins as needed. Having an awesome support system has been key because my body is able to get the rest that it needs. Another huge part has been our parents. During my last hospital stay, my spirits were down and I mentally was in a very dark place. It was obvious that I needed Craw with me and both sets of grandparents stepped up to the plate and took care of Camden. In fact, Camden probably didn't even notice we were gone he had so much fun with them. It was nice knowing I could focus on my health and my baby was being well taken care of the whole time.

Another big adjustment that I have made is saying NO. I rarely said no before getting Camden and now the word NO is one of the most important words in my vocabulary. But seriously, I hate the feeling of letting people down but sometimes I must say no in order to listen to my body and be a good mom. My child and my health will always come first when it comes to events/activities with friends and family. Thankfully, my support system FULLY understands this and I'm never questioned if I need to leave an event early or stay home from hanging out one night.

I told Craw the other day that while I hate Crohns and wish so badly that I could get to a state of remission, we wouldn't have Camden if it weren't for Crohns. My health was one of the biggest reasons we pursued adoption when we did. All this to say, there is always a blessing in every circumstance and Camden is my blessing. I'm so thankful that God allows me to be his mama and that my health has not stopped me from being the best that I can be every single day.



Crohns Disease

Crohns Disease. AKA my intestines hate me.

I was diagnosed with Crohns Disease in September 2015...nine months after we got married. I had been really sick for a couple of years and doctors had a tough time figuring out what was going on. I quickly realized that the biggest advocate for my health was ME. It took some trial and error and switching doctors but the day I was diagnosed was actually a happy day because it no longer made me feel like I was going crazy.

I've had 4 hospital stays in three years, my most recent being January 2017. The hospital stays are basically for me to receive IV steroid treatments and pain meds while I go on bowel rest meaning clear liquids only.

My body has rejected 3 medicines so far and we are about to try a fourth one. This is pretty typical for chronic diseases as it takes a while to figure out what works as all people are different. For the most part, I have been managing the symptoms well for the past two years. I definitely have days where I can tell my body is flaring but I really try to listen to my body and give it what it needs...that being a bland diet and rest!

I have the BEST support system in the world. Craw has been my rock. I often say that dealing with a wife with a chronic illness is not what he signed up for when he married me but he quickly reminds me that it is exactly what he signed up for. He's seriously the best. He never complains and does whatever it takes to make sure I'm receiving the best care possible. My parents have also played a huge part in making sure I know I'm not alone in the journey. There were times I could see myself falling in to a depression after each hospital stay and they made sure to support me. Plus, mom makes the best chicken and rice which is PERFECT for a bland diet. My in-laws, friends, and church family have also been a huge support to me. Crohns can be a very silent disease as a person can look fine from the outside but feel like they are dying on the inside. That can be hard for people to understand. My friends quickly realized that there would be times I may have to miss events on short notice and they completely supported me.

Living with Crohns is definitely a roller coaster: emotionally, physically, and mentally. While Crohns does play a big part in my life, it does NOT define me. I am so thankful that I am able to live a normal life as there are people that deal with much worse.

New Year, New Beginnings

I have so many drafts that are just sitting waiting to be published.  So much has happened within the last year and it has take me away from this little space for quite a while.  A new year calls for a chance of new beginnings and I am certainly thankful for a fresh new year. 

Here are my top 5 highlights from 2015:

(good and bad)

1.  I was officially diagnosed with Crohns Disease in September. 

After many sick months and a few changes in doctors, I received my diagnosis and it's safe to say it changed my life. I started infusions of Remicade immediately upon my diagnosis and have been responding well to treatment.

2.  I experienced not ONE but TWO hospital stays triggered by my Crohns.

This was definitely the lowest point of the year for me.  The picture below was taken from the first stay.  I plan to write more about this later on but for now, just know it was not a fun time.

Making the best out of a miserable situation.

3.  Crawford and I travelled back to our favorite city and got to cheer on our Panthers! 

This is one of my favorite trips of the year and it also helps that the Panthers ended the regular season 15-1.  I wasn't sure if I would be well enough to go on this trip but the Lord blessed me tremendously and I was thankfully able to get away with the hubby.

4.  I received a promotion at work at the very end of the year.

Self explanatory...

5.  Last but certainly not least, my love and I celebrated ONE

 BLISSFUL YEAR of marriage!

It really was a year filled with ups and downs but at the end of the day, I am so thankful to be where I am today.  I finally have a diagnosis, I'm feeling better with each day that passes, I love my new job, and I am so in love with my husband.