First Time Mom and Crohns Disease

 

Two months before we got the call to get Camden, I was battling a Crohns flare in the hospital. It's not something I broadcasted as I didn't want to take a chance of ANYTHING messing up the adoption. Truth be told, I was terrified. I'm not even sure if that is something that could have messed up the process because we were very honest with our social worker about my health issues. Crohns is not something that could prevent someone from adopting but I wasn't sure how it would look to be in the middle of the process and in the hospital.

That flare terrified me as I knew I was getting closer to being a mom and wasn't sure how in the heck I would be able to care for a child and care for myself. I barely had the energy to finish out a work day, let alone do all of the mom things once I had worked a full 8 hour day.

To my surprise, being a mom with a chronic illness has not been as hard as I thought. My health has done a somewhat decent job of letting me be the best mom that I can be to Camden. Now don't get me wrong, there have been some very tough days. Back in April I went through a flare and was in the hospital for 3.5 days. That was brutal and was my toughest stay because I missed my baby so much. I remember laying there and sobbing because I kept thinking how unfair it was that my body was taking me away from being a mother. Then I quickly realized it could always be worse and while I may have been away for 3.5 days, I bounced back and Camden was well taken care of the whole time. The hospital even let him come see me for an hour and that gave me the boost I needed to get better and go home.

I think the biggest thing for me to succeed as a mom that battles a chronic illness is to listen to my body. When I'm tired, I rest. When I need a monitor free night, Craw takes the monitor or Camden goes and stays with his grandparents. Craw plays a HUGE part in my success as a mother. He is a wonderful dad and he can quickly take the reins as needed. Having an awesome support system has been key because my body is able to get the rest that it needs. Another huge part has been our parents. During my last hospital stay, my spirits were down and I mentally was in a very dark place. It was obvious that I needed Craw with me and both sets of grandparents stepped up to the plate and took care of Camden. In fact, Camden probably didn't even notice we were gone he had so much fun with them. It was nice knowing I could focus on my health and my baby was being well taken care of the whole time.

Another big adjustment that I have made is saying NO. I rarely said no before getting Camden and now the word NO is one of the most important words in my vocabulary. But seriously, I hate the feeling of letting people down but sometimes I must say no in order to listen to my body and be a good mom. My child and my health will always come first when it comes to events/activities with friends and family. Thankfully, my support system FULLY understands this and I'm never questioned if I need to leave an event early or stay home from hanging out one night.

I told Craw the other day that while I hate Crohns and wish so badly that I could get to a state of remission, we wouldn't have Camden if it weren't for Crohns. My health was one of the biggest reasons we pursued adoption when we did. All this to say, there is always a blessing in every circumstance and Camden is my blessing. I'm so thankful that God allows me to be his mama and that my health has not stopped me from being the best that I can be every single day.