Adoption Story Part Two: The hospital stay

Two months have passed and now is the time to continue Camden's adoption story. My first post detailed our journey down to Florida and today's post will cover our time in the hospital. For Camden's privacy, I am going to keep certain details private but will try to cover all of the main parts.

I would like to start by saying that there is not a single thing I would change about our adoption story. It was imperfectly perfect as I like to say. I dreamed of the day I would meet our son. In my dreams, it was the perfect day filled with happy tears, joy, and all kinds of love. I even dreamed of being in the delivery room the moment he was born. It was a picture perfect moment in my dreams. Unfortunately, adoption comes from a state of brokenness and the day we met our son was not the picture perfect day like I imagined.

It started with the fact we had drove all night long and got maybe 1.5 hours of sleep in our car. We were extremely exhausted but HIGH on adrenaline and caffeine. We were so excited to meet our son. The plan was to meet the social worker at 9 am in the lobby of the hospital. By 9:20, we were wondering if we were at the wrong hospital. Imagine knowing your son is a few floors above you and you are moments away from meeting him for the first time...

"ain't noboby got time for slow pokes."

Our social worker finally arrived around 9:25 and we anxiously made our way up to the labor and delivery floor. Once we got there, we were taken in to a waiting room where a nurse came out and said that the doctor would be coming to speak with us but our son was being moved to a children's hospital for further testing. That's all she could tell us. At this point, I started to panic on the inside but made sure I didn't startle Craw. I'm not going to lie, I was scared. We were in a strange place, with no family, no friends, we hadn't even met our son yet. For the next TWO hours (yes, TWO) we waited to speak with a doctor. We were literally 100 feet away from the private nursery where Camden was sleeping and we couldn't see him. It was agony.

Finally the doctor came in and explained that Camden was born with a low resting heart rate and she wanted to have him fully evaluated since we had no medical history on him. Their hospital was unable to perform the tests he needed so he was being transferred. I felt better knowing this was just a precautionary measure. She then asked if we were ready to meet or son.

These were our first moments with our sweet Camden Ivey. I let Craw hold him first and it was so special to watch him.

We were both so happy. He was hooked up to all kinds of wires and machines so it was a little intimidating to hold him. There were also tons of nurses and doctors in there watching us because they knew that we were there to adopt him. I really can't blame them because I would have wanted to watch too but it definitely made us a little uncomfortable.

After about 3 hours, the transport team from the children's hospital showed up. It broke my heart seeing him on the stretcher but they said that I could ride with him in the ambulance. That was a surreal experience.



This is where we started to melt down. My phone died and due to toll roads, Craw got separated from the ambulance. I had no idea where he was and that was a little scary. Once we got to the children's hospital, we were taken up to a room. I was told we would have a private room and when we got up there, we were in a double room with another baby. I was really bummed about this because I had yet to bond with my baby in private.

Craw finally made it to the hospital and we quickly realized that we needed sleep and we were not going to get it in a NICU sharing the room with another baby/family. We contacted the Ronald McDonald house and were originally told they did not have any room for us but got a call back about an hour later stating they had cleaned a room just for us. WHAT A BLESSING! By this point, I was tired, my spirits were really down, and I had yet to bond with my baby because he was hooked to so many wires. Not that picture perfect moment that I imagined in my dreams. Our phones were blowing up and we had no idea what our next steps were. Even if we were discharged, where would we go? We knew Craw had to fly back home in 3 days and it was just all too much to process. I actually called my mom in tears and asked that she send out a mass text to update everyone for me. I was so overwhelmed and just needed sleep.

Craw and I decided that it was best for both of us if we left at 6 and went to a nice dinner and then to the Ronald McDonald house for a hot shower and some sleep. I cannot say enough how impressed I was with the Ronald McDonald house. It blessed my family so much when we needed it the most. The hotel across the street was going to be $150 for ONE NIGHT. I'm pretty sure our room at the Ronald McDonald house was nicer than the hotel room we would have been in and it was free. That was such a God moment for us.

We slept 10 hours straight and it was glorious. We couldn't wait to see Camden and I found myself actually excited that day. We woke up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day, whatever may lie ahead. This was the day that I bonded with my baby boy for the first time. He was able to get rid of some wires and Craw and I got to spend the whole day with him, just the three of us. It was heavenly and filled with so many sweet moments. It got even sweeter when the doctor came by and said that Camden passed all of his tests with flying colors and we could go home if we were ready. That was another blessing because we never expected that to come so soon.

Camden was in the hospital for a total of 2 days which is the normal amount for a healthy newborn. Seeing as we were transferred to a children's hospital, it's amazing he didn't have to stay longer. This was just the beginning of all of the ways that God blessed us on our adoption journey.

A few photos from day two in the hospital...AKA discharge day!

While our first day with him may not have been like my dreams, it is our story and I will always cherish it being part of our story. Every single detail was orchestrated by God and led us to our son so I'm okay that it may not have been the picture perfect day. I will absolutely never forget that life changing day because it's the day that he made me a mama. Stay tuned for the next adoption post as I can't wait to tell the next part of our journey. It still blows my mind to this day.



To my baby boy...

It’s been a while and there is so much of Camden’s story that I still need to share and I plan to in the near future. However, today is my last day at home with my sweet boy. After 8 glorious weeks, I will be returning to work tomorrow and I wanted to capture my thoughts and feelings before I do in a letter that I will one day share with Camden.

Camden Ivey,

I have so many emotions flooding through me today as I spend my last day at home with you. You are currently napping so it’s the perfect opportunity to write you this letter. Exactly 8 weeks ago, I received a call that forever changed my world. I never expected the call to come so soon but it turns out it was the blessing we didn’t even realize we needed. You are our blessing. Our journey to you wasn’t the easiest but God promised to fulfill the desires of my heart in His timing and He certainly did just that. 

The first two weeks with you are best described as a rollercoaster experience. We had to say goodbye to daddy for a week and that just about broke your mamas heart. However, it made me realize that I can be self sufficient and that I will always do anything for you. It also made me realize that I’m a good mama and that I need to allow myself grace as I was always questioning if I was doing the whole parenting thing correctly. You, of course, were the best baby in those 2 weeks and were what got your daddy and I through the wait for travel approval. You were our miracle in motion and we just had to be patient and wait.

The next six weeks were spent at home where I got to watch and learn from you every day. You sure did change super fast. Before I knew it, you were holding your head up, smiling, cooing, eating and sleeping like a champ, and being a joy to everyone around you. You even let mama sleep in some days. You especially loved our lunch dates with friends and daddy. Our nights were filled with lots of daddy snuggles and you definitely became a pro at eating out. Mama promises to do a better job cooking soon. You also fell in love with your brother, Hank, and loved his kisses. Sometimes I would catch you staring at him and I know y’all will be best friends one day.

These 8 weeks were the best of my entire life. Don’t get me wrong, they had some hard moments, but you were/still are/always will be worth it. Tomorrow things are going to be a little different. You’re not going to see me as much during the day but you’re going to have the best time at your Aunt Rebekah’s. But don’t you worry, our nights will consist of all the Camden snuggles you can imagine. I’ve often thought what it would be like if I was a stay at home mom and the truth is, I’m going to be the best version of myself for you as a full time working mom. I will certainly miss you like crazy during the day but it will not take away a single ounce of love I have for you. If anything, it’s going to make me love you more because time is going to be more precious to me. You are a gift to us that we will never take for granted and I fully believe that one day, you will change the world for the better. God started writing your story the day you were conceived and your daddy and I are honored that He saw fit to make you ours. I love you with all my heart and I promise that the best is yet to come.

Love always,

Your Mama

Adoption Story Part One: The call that changed everything

January 17, 2018. The day that changed my world for the better. The day that I finally became a mama.

I’m sure you have all heard of crazy adoption stories but truthfully, we never expected one. Usually, people pursuing adoption get matched and have a few months or weeks to prepare for their baby. I assumed this would be how our adoption worked. In fact, my agency said they rarely have “stork drops” and almost every adoption they do is well known in advance. I should have known right then and there that our story would be different.

I got the call at 1:33 pm on Wednesday, January 17th. A baby boy had been born that morning and the birth mom knew she couldn’t keep him given her current circumstances. The hospital contacted our agency and asked if they had anyone that could take this baby. The agency immediately contacted me and my heart dropped the minute I saw a Florida number calling. I was at work and walked away from my desk, hands shaking and heart beating 100 miles a minute. I assumed she was about to tell me we had been chosen. Instead, she said that there is a baby boy waiting on us and asked how soon we could get to Florida. I hung up the phone to call Craw and he said he couldn’t even understand what I was saying I was freaking out and crying so hard. All I could get out is that we have a son and we have to get to Florida ASAP! To make the story even crazier, Wilson was in the middle of receiving about 2 inches of snow so flying was out of the question. We both left work and met up at the bank to get the remaining money we still owed. It was a blessing we got there before they closed. We called our parents and texted our friends asking for help as we didn’t have a single baby thing ready to go other than the car seat.

I’m still in awe at how everything unfolded. By the time I got home, we had friends packing up our car for us with everything a newborn would need. God is so good! We hit the road at 6 pm that night and the first hour was horrible. The roads were SO bad and we really had no business being on the road. We took things slow, said a lot of prayers, and Craw drove very carefully. Once we got out of NC, the roads were good. 

We drove all night long. The anticipation of knowing we were getting closer and closer to our son was killing me. I couldn’t sleep at all. We arrived at the hospital at 4:45 am Thursday morning. We weren’t supposed to meet our social worker until 9 am so we got some sleep in the car. First time I’ve ever parked and slept in my car. We woke up and made a target run because I needed to freshen up and we wanted to get our baby an outfit.

At 9 am, we walked in to the hospital and waited for our social worker. We assumed we would be taken straight up to see him but as soon as we got there, we were informed he was being transferred to another hospital for further testing on his heart. Talk about a whirlwind. After more waiting, we laid eyes on our son at 11:12 am Thursday, January 18th. Our “gotcha” day. 

I will share more of the story in the days to come but for now, please enjoy pictures of our son and our first moments with him.

Camden Ivey Bolton

7 pounds 12 ounces

21.5 inches long

A Season of Waiting



Patience. I would definitely say this is one of my biggest struggles. I've often been told not to pray for patience as the only way to truly learn to be patient is to go through times of waiting. We are in a season of waiting right now. And if I'm being honest, it's tough. Waking up each day wondering if today is the day we will get the phone call saying a birth mom has chosen us is hard. I try not to think about it too much but it crosses my mind at least once a day.

The fact is, the entire adoption process is just one big waiting game. It first started with waiting to get approved by the agency. Then we had to wait for the home study to be completed. Then we had to wait for the agency to receive our profile book. And now, we are waiting for the phone call officially saying we are matched. After that, we will wait for the due date, then wait for the 48 hour revocation period to pass once the baby is born, then wait to receive permission to travel home, then wait for a court date to legally become a family. See what I mean? All we do is wait.

I will say that this season of waiting has really made me stop and put 100% of my trust in God. It's easy to let doubt creep in and take over when you are in a season of waiting. Is 2018 really our year to bring home our baby? What if a birth mom doesn't like our book? Is there somebody out there that will like our book? How soon will the birth mom be due? Will we be able to find a place to stay relatively cheap when the time comes to go get the baby? ALL THE QUESTIONS!

When my mind starts to wonder and doubt starts to take over, I literally have to shut my brain off and start praying. Even if it's in the middle of the work day and I'm sitting at my desk in the middle of a project, I close my eyes and start praying. I also start quoting scripture. I do whatever it takes to get the doubt and fear out of mind. I also try to stay busy! It's tough...but it works!

I'm hoping and praying that we hear something soon. But if not, I know that God's timing is perfect and we need to be patient. What's that saying?

"Patience is a virtue"?

I can see why!

Christmas and December

Can you believe it's already 2018?  This post is a tad bit late but that's okay because I had 12 days off at the end of the year and I enjoyed every single second of my time away from work. Craw was also off so we were able to enjoy the holidays with each other and our families.

We kicked off December with our second annual Jammy Cocoa Christmas. We "borrowed" the idea from Shay and it truly is such a fun night. I host dinner at my house and we usually make our own pizzas. The kids will usually build a ginger bread house while dinner is cooking. After dinner, we pile up in separate cars (boys vs. girls) and we head to Dunkin Donuts where we enjoy coffee and donuts in our pajamas. Then we ride around looking at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music. It is so much fun! We were missing Luke this year but I'm sure he will be ready to go next year plus one more little baby.

We took Anna Blake to Christmas at Peace and had a great night with her.

Craw and I enjoyed spending my birthday with each other and I even let him play a round of golf. #wifeoftheyear

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Sweet Hank on Christmas Eve. We were watching the Panthers game and Craw would not put him down as he said he was the Panthers good luck charm. HA!

We got a sweet photo with Craw's family this year. I failed to take pictures at Christmas so I'm thankful for this one.

 

The day after Christmas, Craw and I left for Williamsburg, VA with my parents. We had planned to go in November but I had a Crohn's flare the weekend they went and was unable to go. We had a wonderful time but BOY WAS IT COLD! We literally froze. We went to Christmas Town at Busch Gardens one night and it got below 30 degrees. It's safe to say the lights were beautiful but we just couldn't hang in the cold.

We ended out the year with friends and I even got to snap a photo of this cutie. I love the portrait mode on my iphone and I love when I get photos like this one.

Hoping and praying that 2018 is our BEST YEAR YET!