Adoption Q&A

Photo: Taylor Dail Photography

1. What agency are you working with? We are not officially committed to an agency but we do have a couple of options in mind. I thought we had it all figured out but we recently heard about a new agency and we have an informational session planned for August 15th.  Hopefully after this date, we will narrow down our options. Please be in prayer that God will lead us to the right agency.
2. Will it be an international or domestic adoption and what age group are you looking to adopt? We will be adopting within the United States and we plan to adopt a newborn. Since Craw and I have never had a biological baby, we really wanted to experience the very beginning of our baby's life.
3. Will it be an open or closed adoption? Craw and I are very intent on having an open adoption if the birth family agrees to it. We want the birth parents to know how proud we are for them choosing life for our baby as they could have easily chosen abortion. We also want them to experience our love, because we know that the choice they are making by giving up there baby is a tough one and this will give us a chance to love like Christ. With that said, Craw and I are very intent on keeping certain things private (like where we live, phone numbers, etc.). All adoptions are different so we are trusting God will guide us in this.
4. Will it be a boy or a girl? We are not specifying gender or race. We believe that God has called us to this and He already has our perfect baby picked out for us.
5. How long does the process take? All adoption times vary. It is hard to pin-point an exact timeframe as there are so many factors that play in to the timing. Right now, we are trying to figure out which agency best fits our family and from there, we will start on the paperwork.  All in all, we are looking at a timeframe of 6 months to 1 year and are hoping it is closer to the 6-9 month mark.
6. How expensive is adoption? Adoption is VERY expensive. I once read that 35% of Americans have considered adoption but only 2% follow through and it is usually due to the financial burden of adoption. It really depends on the agency that we choose and that is part of the reason we have not quite narrowed down our search. The first agency I looked at would have cost us about $45,000 and while I absolutely love that agency, I know that $45,000 is a lot of money and may not be the best option for our family. This is an area that we are praying about daily and trusting that God is going to provide us the money. The agency we are looking in to right now will cost about $27,000. This feels much more manageable but is still a step of faith. Once we decide on an agency, I will do a post detailing the exact cost of our adoption.
7. How does the process work? This will be a very quick run down but the first step is to choose an agency and submit an application. Once approved, we will have a local social worker contact us in regards to the home study and will also start digging deep in to paperwork that is required.  Trust me when I say, these people are going to know EVERY aspect of our life. We will also start making a profile book that the agency will show to potential birth families. The profile book is one of the most crucial parts of the process as it is going to be the one shot we have to impress the birth families. Once the home study is complete, we will be considered active. The agency will begin searching to find birth families that fit the criteria we are looking for (age, race, health, budget, etc.). Once they find a potential match, they will send Craw and I the information and that is when we decide if we want to pursue this birth family. If we say yes, the agency will provide our book to the birth family. At that time, we will basically wait for a yes or a no. If we get a no, we will start the search process over. If we get a yes, we will officially be matched to our baby. We could be matched to a birth mom that is still months out from labor or we could get matched to a birth mom that is already in labor or may have just had the baby. That will be information that we will be given up front when we are looking over the birth family profile. Hopefully, this gives you a good idea of how the process works.
8. What happens once the baby is born? Depending on what state our baby is born in, we will have to wait a certain amount of time for the revocation period to end.  This means that the birth family will have a certain amount of time to sign over their parental rights.  All states have different revocation time periods. This is by far the scariest part of the process to me as we could potentially meet our baby only to find out that the birth family changed their mind. However, I am trusting that God will take care of this for us and will completely take away all fear that we may have. Our agency will also train us on birth parent warning signs to help minimize the risk of this from happening. Once the revocation period has passed, Craw and I will have to remain in the state of birth for 10-15 days.  This is due to a federal law called Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). This basically means we have to obtain permission to cross over state lines and travel back to our home state with our baby.  This will be a good chance for Craw and I to bond with our new baby.

Hopefully this answers some of the questions you may have about our adoption. The one thing I will say is that all adoptions are different so our story is going to be different than other stories you may have heard. The one thing that will hopefully remain the same is the end result: bringing home baby Bolton.

We are so happy to have you on this journey with us!