Baby Bolton Prayer Card

This is a prayer card that we made to give to people as a reminder to pray for our journey to Baby Bolton. When we first started telling our family about the adoption, my dad asked me to write down all of the things he could pray for so he wouldn't forget. This sparked an idea to create a prayer card to give out to people so that they could put these little reminders in places they would think to stop and pray. If you are interested in a prayer card, please let me know. I usually keep a handful on me at all times and I definitely don't mind mailing you one either.

Please check back Monday for the launch of our August fundraiser. We are believing that God is going to do BIG things in August and are so excited to share all the details.



The Crib

Have you ever had a moment where something happens that completely reassures you that you are walking within Gods will for your life? I like to refer to these instances as my "God moments." Craw and I have seen a lot of God moments within the past couple of months that have completely reassured us that God is calling us to adopt.

A few weeks ago, I experienced one of the best God moments of my life. With the stress of adoption, one thing that I wanted to start doing from the beginning was preparing a nursery. I don't want to bring home a baby to an empty room. I had a friend that sent me a picture of a crib someone was selling on the Facebook marketplace for $50. I immediately logged on to Facebook but I could not find the post that she was talking about so I just started looking through some of the other listings. I came across a listing for a Delta 3-in-1 crib that was being sold for $40.  The crib looked to be in really good condition so I immediately messaged the seller.  In the meantime, my friend sent me a message that it looked like the crib she had seen was already sold. It sold THAT fast.

The seller immediately messaged me back and told me that the crib was still in really good condition with all of its parts, it just had two places that had visible teeth marks. Having seen all of my friend's cribs, this did not concern me at all so I immediately told her that I wanted it. I also explained in the message how my husband and I are adopting and this crib is going to be absolutely perfect for us.

This is when the God moment happened. I can cry again just thinking about it. This woman that I have never met before immediately responded with this...

Insert me ugly crying here. Wow! This person that I have NEVER met, that posted the Facebook ad 3 days earlier and didn't receive any hits, that had EVERY intention to place it outside at their yard sale where it would have for sure sold: SHE was GIFTING us this crib! I could not believe it, I mean I was more than willing to pay the $40 but she would not take it. That was a God moment for sure. In that moment, I knew God was 100% reassuring us of the call he has placed on our lives.

Adoption is such a beautiful thing. In the past few days, I've received numerous messages of others that have been on the fence about adoption but are really intrigued by our story. I even had one person say that she knows that this is something God has been calling her to but she has been too scared of the financial aspect of adoption to dig any further. I don't say this to gain more attention to our story but I absolutely think that God has a greater plan. Our prayer is that one day, Craw and I are going to be able to help another family that may be on the fence about adoption.

Adoption Q&A

Photo: Taylor Dail Photography

1. What agency are you working with? We are not officially committed to an agency but we do have a couple of options in mind. I thought we had it all figured out but we recently heard about a new agency and we have an informational session planned for August 15th.  Hopefully after this date, we will narrow down our options. Please be in prayer that God will lead us to the right agency.
2. Will it be an international or domestic adoption and what age group are you looking to adopt? We will be adopting within the United States and we plan to adopt a newborn. Since Craw and I have never had a biological baby, we really wanted to experience the very beginning of our baby's life.
3. Will it be an open or closed adoption? Craw and I are very intent on having an open adoption if the birth family agrees to it. We want the birth parents to know how proud we are for them choosing life for our baby as they could have easily chosen abortion. We also want them to experience our love, because we know that the choice they are making by giving up there baby is a tough one and this will give us a chance to love like Christ. With that said, Craw and I are very intent on keeping certain things private (like where we live, phone numbers, etc.). All adoptions are different so we are trusting God will guide us in this.
4. Will it be a boy or a girl? We are not specifying gender or race. We believe that God has called us to this and He already has our perfect baby picked out for us.
5. How long does the process take? All adoption times vary. It is hard to pin-point an exact timeframe as there are so many factors that play in to the timing. Right now, we are trying to figure out which agency best fits our family and from there, we will start on the paperwork.  All in all, we are looking at a timeframe of 6 months to 1 year and are hoping it is closer to the 6-9 month mark.
6. How expensive is adoption? Adoption is VERY expensive. I once read that 35% of Americans have considered adoption but only 2% follow through and it is usually due to the financial burden of adoption. It really depends on the agency that we choose and that is part of the reason we have not quite narrowed down our search. The first agency I looked at would have cost us about $45,000 and while I absolutely love that agency, I know that $45,000 is a lot of money and may not be the best option for our family. This is an area that we are praying about daily and trusting that God is going to provide us the money. The agency we are looking in to right now will cost about $27,000. This feels much more manageable but is still a step of faith. Once we decide on an agency, I will do a post detailing the exact cost of our adoption.
7. How does the process work? This will be a very quick run down but the first step is to choose an agency and submit an application. Once approved, we will have a local social worker contact us in regards to the home study and will also start digging deep in to paperwork that is required.  Trust me when I say, these people are going to know EVERY aspect of our life. We will also start making a profile book that the agency will show to potential birth families. The profile book is one of the most crucial parts of the process as it is going to be the one shot we have to impress the birth families. Once the home study is complete, we will be considered active. The agency will begin searching to find birth families that fit the criteria we are looking for (age, race, health, budget, etc.). Once they find a potential match, they will send Craw and I the information and that is when we decide if we want to pursue this birth family. If we say yes, the agency will provide our book to the birth family. At that time, we will basically wait for a yes or a no. If we get a no, we will start the search process over. If we get a yes, we will officially be matched to our baby. We could be matched to a birth mom that is still months out from labor or we could get matched to a birth mom that is already in labor or may have just had the baby. That will be information that we will be given up front when we are looking over the birth family profile. Hopefully, this gives you a good idea of how the process works.
8. What happens once the baby is born? Depending on what state our baby is born in, we will have to wait a certain amount of time for the revocation period to end.  This means that the birth family will have a certain amount of time to sign over their parental rights.  All states have different revocation time periods. This is by far the scariest part of the process to me as we could potentially meet our baby only to find out that the birth family changed their mind. However, I am trusting that God will take care of this for us and will completely take away all fear that we may have. Our agency will also train us on birth parent warning signs to help minimize the risk of this from happening. Once the revocation period has passed, Craw and I will have to remain in the state of birth for 10-15 days.  This is due to a federal law called Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC). This basically means we have to obtain permission to cross over state lines and travel back to our home state with our baby.  This will be a good chance for Craw and I to bond with our new baby.

Hopefully this answers some of the questions you may have about our adoption. The one thing I will say is that all adoptions are different so our story is going to be different than other stories you may have heard. The one thing that will hopefully remain the same is the end result: bringing home baby Bolton.

We are so happy to have you on this journey with us!

 

Why Adoption?

Photo: Taylor Dail Photography

Adoption has been on my heart since I was 16 years old. I can still remember the day I stood at the airport waiting for a family friend to step off the plane with her daughter from Guatemala. It was the coolest experience and from that day on I knew I wanted to adopt.

Fast forward eight years and I was getting married and embarking on the greatest adventure with my new husband. Craw and I love kids and we both knew that we didn't want to wait long to start a family so we went in to our first year of marriage with the mentality that if we got pregnant, GREAT, if not, no worries! What we didn't realize at the time was that eight months in to our marriage, I would be diagnosed with Crohns disease. Even through the initial diagnosis, starting infusions, and having 2 hospital stays within a month, we still had family planning in the back of our minds- crazy, I know!

Eventually my GI doctor had the discussion with me that we should probably wait at least a year to have a baby in hopes we could get my Crohns under control. My body had already rejected the first medication I was put on and we were starting to try a different medicine in hopes that I would respond to treatment. I was a little down at first but knew that it was probably for the best.

By January of this year, my heart was longing for a baby and Craws was too. This is when the initial talk of adoption started. I had mentioned it plenty of times before and Craw knew it was something that I eventually wanted to do but we both assumed it would be after having biological kids. I approached him to see what his thoughts were on us adopting first and I was immediately hit with a hard- yet nice- NO. Adoption wasn't even a second thought to him. He wanted biological kids first, as did I.

In May, we met with a high risk OB to talk about the risk of Crohns with pregnancy and to see if the long list of medications I was on would be safe for pregnancy. The good news we received was that my medications were safe for pregnancy. The bad news was he thought we should wait as 70% of Crohns patients that have flared within a year of getting pregnant will flare during pregnancy. Having just flared in January, it was obvious now was not the right time. Surprisingly, I left that appointment filled with more hope than I have had in 2.5 years. I assumed I would be devastated at the thought of having to wait but I know for a fact, God was preparing my heart for what was to come.

About a week later, Craw and I were talking and I brought up an adoption story that I had heard about and he mentioned that he felt like God was really working on his heart for adoption. I about fell out on the floor. I couldn't believe it because his answer was such a hard NO five months earlier. What I didn't realize is that God had been working on him during those months and he still wasn't exactly sure but he told me he was going to keep praying about it for at least another month. That is all it took for me to start praying for Craw's YES that very night.

I made sure not to pester him about it because the one thing I have wanted from the beginning was for his YES to be God's YES- not my YES. Does that make sense? I wanted to make sure that it was 100% the path God was leading both of us down and not our own desires taking the drivers seat. The funny thing is, God knows exactly what our desires are and He has an awesome way of making them apart of His plan.

A week later, Craw told me on June 3, 2017 that he wanted us to start the adoption process. He had no clue what the process looked like or how long it would take but he knew that God was calling us to adopt now. It has only been a month and it has already been a crazy awesome adventure. We know the road ahead is going to have some bumps but we are so excited for the journey to come.

I will be back tomorrow to answer some of the adoption questions we have been asked. We LOVE when people ask us questions because it is something we are deeply passionate about. Our prayer is that God will use our story to bring awareness to this beautiful thing called adoption and that it will in return open the door for others to adopt.

"And whoever welcomes one such child in my name, welcomes me."

Matthew 18:5

Bolton Party of Three + Hank

Photo: Taylor Dail Photography

We are incredibly excited to share with you that...

WE ARE ADOPTING!

This is an adventure that is still hard to believe we are on but I am so excited that God has opened this door for us. I am planning to blog our journey along the way so be sure to check back here for updates. I also plan to do a post within the next few days answering some of the questions you may have as well as explaining how we got to this point. We cannot wait to see where God takes us on this journey and are so excited to have you join us for the ride.  It's going to be our best adventure yet.