Adoption Story Part Three: Strangers to Friends

Part One | Part Two

If you missed the first two parts of the story, click the links above and it will take you directly to those posts. The next part of our adoption journey just might be my favorite because it would not have happened if it weren't for God's loving grace being shown through complete strangers.

Let me first start by explaining a little bit about the adoption laws. All 50 states have a law in place called the Interstate Compact on Placement of Children (ICPC). Basically what this laws means is that adopting parents have to receive permission to travel across state lines from the state in which they are adopting from as well as their home state. In our case, our social worker had to fill out paperwork and put it in the mail to the Florida courts. Once the Florida courts did what they needed to do, they would then mail the paperwork to North Carolina courts. We were not allowed to leave the state of Florida until the North Carolina courts signed off giving us permission to travel. This travel approval can take anywhere from 10-15 business days but in most cases, it usually takes about 2 weeks.

We knew from the very beginning that we would have to stay in Florida for at least 2 weeks but we fully expected to have time to plan and figure out where we were staying prior to the baby being born. In our situation, there was no time to plan or prepare. Our only goal was to get to Florida and see our baby. Once we got to Camden and the adrenaline died down, it started to sink in that we had no clue where we were going once we left the hospital and that was a very scary thought. I can remember sitting in the NICU holding Camden on the first day and just crying my eyes out. I was so overwhelmed and I knew that Craw was going to have to fly back home for work in 3 days. Not only did we have no where to go, I was about to be alone with a newborn baby and I had no clue what I was doing.

And that is where Angie stepped in. I met Angie through a mutual friend and was able to sit down with her last August and hear her adoption story. She had just adopted her son in January and was telling me all about her agency in Florida. At the time, I was not interested in going out of state for the adoption so I just kind of shut it down. It wasn't until God closed every door we opened in North Carolina that I called the agency in Florida. From the very first phone call, I knew this was our agency. The week before I got the call, I was texting Angie saying that I was struggling being patient and scared that we were not going to get matched. She told me that she had a friend from VA that was currently in Florida awaiting the birth of their adopted son and she knew of one more baby that was also being born that week so the agency was super busy. Little did I know that this was the start of our story.

As soon as Angie found out that we got the call and a baby was already born, she started texting me asking how she could help. She offered to look up hotels, research rental houses, and even offered me a room in her sisters house which was about 45 minutes from where we were currently. Then she sent me a text asking for permission for her to give my contact information to her friend Shannon. This is the same girl that Angie told me about a week earlier that was down in Florida adopting her baby boy. Never in a million years did I think that my story would be linked to Shannons. About 30 minutes later, I received a call from Shannon. They were renting a house and had an extra bedroom and bathroom for us to have. Not only that but her mom and dad were with her so they could help me out when Craw had to fly back home. Shannon also REFUSED to let me pay her any money to go towards the rent. A complete stranger was offering us a place to stay, for free.
I cried. HARD!


Typically I would never stay with a stranger but it was one of those situations where I felt at peace from the very first conversation we had. It was like I was talking to a friend I've known my whole life. It also helped that Shannon was adopting through the same agency so she could help me with all of the next steps and what to expect. Her husband also had to return home for work so she was able to help me navigate the struggle of saying goodbye. Her son Braxton was born 9 days before Camden and they were about a week ahead of us in terms of waiting for travel approval. When we left the hospital, we drove straight to the house Shannon was renting and they had a nice home cooked meal waiting for us.


Shannon and her wonderful family were ABSOLUTELY the hands and feet of Jesus for us.

There is no other way to say it. They opened up their home and their hearts to us from the very beginning. Her mom was able to help me out as a motherly figure by giving advice when Camden cried and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Shannon cried with me and prayed for me when I cried like a baby when Craw left to go home. They checked on me during the middle of the night feedings to make sure I was getting adequate sleep. They were the blessing that I had no clue I would even need.


I ended up staying with them for a week. They received travel approval on Wednesday, January 24th, so my parents helped me pack up and move to a different location the next day. It was so sad to say goodbye to Shannon and her mom but I was so excited for them to get to travel back home to Virginia. I will never forget the kindness that Shannon and her family showed to us and I can only pray that we are able to bless another family one day the way they blessed us. We definitely plan to meet up in the future to get Braxton and Camden together for a play date and I'm already looking forward to that day.


One thing that I've realized is God's hand has been writing our story from the very beginning. From meeting Angie, doors being closed, other doors being opened, having a baby basically fall in our lap, Angie introducing us to Shannon, and Shannon providing us a place to stay, God was IN IT from the beginning.


NEVER EVER DOUBT GODS PLANS FOR YOUR LIFE!


It may not always make sense in the moment but looking back, I can clearly see how God was writing Camden's story and I'm thrilled that Shannon and Braxton are part of his story.



Camden Ivey | Two Months

In the blink of an eye, we are already at 2 months with our sweet boy. He turned 2 months on Saturday...aka St. Patrick's day. While I did dress him in green, I definitely forgot to get him a themed outfit. Oh well!

Weight

He is 13 pounds and 23.5 inches. Our ped says he is right on target and is a super healthy boy.

Eat

He is eating 5 ounces now and still every 3 hours during the day.

Sleep

We finally got him on a good napping schedule this month. He still struggles with a morning nap and it's usually more of a cat nap but he definitely takes a solid 2-2.5 hour nap in the afternoon. ALL THE PRIASE HANDS! We put him down around 9:30 each night (gets last bottle at 9) and he was sleeping until 5-5:30. However, in the last week, we have gone backwards a bit and he's tossing and turning a lot and waking up 2-3 times before it's time to eat. Our ped says it's just a phase and probably related to a growth spurt.

Milestones

Camden smiled socially for the first time at 5 weeks old. He will smile any time you talk to him now and he has one dimple and it's the cutest thing.  He went on his first beach trip and he loved it. It was too cold to actually go on the beach so he still hasn't seen the ocean but it was nice to get away. He also started "daycare" this month and his Aunt Rebekah is keeping him for the time being. So far, so good! He got his 2 month shots on Monday and he had a rough go with a small fever and fussiness. He has started to really talk and loves to coo and ahhh. He also spent his first Sunday in the church nursery at 8 weeks old and he did great. He was looking so handsome.

Likes

He LOVES bath time. I said that last month but he is definitely a water baby. He even likes it when we pour water over his face. He also loves being outside and will instantly calm down the minute you walk outside with him. He especially loves stroller rides. This month he found his hands and loves to eat them. He also loves to talk.

Dislikes

He hates stoplights. It's crazy but the minute the car stops moving, he screams. He also dislikes being held too much and would rather lay down flat so that he can kick his legs. He's the next Graham Gano for the Panthers. LOL

Clothes

He is wearing 3 month clothes now. There are some 0-3 month clothes that are too small now so it's mostly 3 month that he is in.

Camden Ivey, waking up to you each day is a treasure. My favorite moment is when we go in to your room to say Good Morning and you just smile really big. We also love when we put you to sleep because mommy and daddy both take time giving you all the kisses. You are our happy baby and we love making you smile. I can't wait to hear you laugh for the first time...I know it's coming soon. We love you to the moon and back.

Camden Ivey | One Month



Please bare with me as I try to catch the blog up with my life. I want to be able to look back and remember everything as it happened so that means doing some quick updates that are not in real time.

Camden Ivey turned one month old on February 17th. His first month of life FLEW by but I guess that's what happens when you spend 2 weeks in Florida and then travel back home.

Weight

 

At his 2 week check up, he weighed 9 pounds 8 ounces and was 21.5 inches long. We are thinking his birth certificate may have the wrong height on it since his length is the same as it was at birth. I'm guessing he weighs about 10.5 pounds.

Eat

 

Camden loves to eat. He is currently eating 4 ounces every 3 hours during the day. He is on Enfamil Infant formula and so far so good.

Sleep

 

He is a great sleeper at night but struggles with naps. We can usually get about a 5 hour stretch out of him at night. He loves to be swaddled and we moved him to his crib at 4 weeks old. Up until that point, he was sleeping in a rock n play and a pack n play while in Florida.

 

Milestones

Camden is already an experienced traveler in his first month of life and has been through 4 different states. He left the hospital and stayed in one home, then moved to another rental house, then started the 10 hour journey home. He even stayed in a hotel room and did so good. I was a little bit nervous about a 2 week old staying in a hotel but he was a champ. He experienced his first Valentine's day and mama and daddy even enjoyed a date night out sans baby. He slept in his crib for the first time and even rolled over at 4 weeks old from his stomach to his back. That was more than likely a one time thing based on how I positioned him but it did happen. He also took his first bath in his tub and he loves the water.

 

Likes

 

He loves to eat, sleep, snort like a pig, kick his legs, ride in his car seat, listen to music, and follow us with his eyes. He also loves his brother Hank.

 

Dislikes

 

Being held too much, dirty diapers, and being too hot.

 

 Clothes

He is wearing mostly 0-3 month clothes. He can still wear a couple of his newborn pieces but it's mostly 0-3 month.  Some of the 3 month clothes are a little big but it won't be long before he is in them.

 

Camden Ivey, you have completely changed our world for the better and we love you more than anything. We are so excited to watch you grow.

 

 

 



Adoption Story Part Two: The hospital stay

Two months have passed and now is the time to continue Camden's adoption story. My first post detailed our journey down to Florida and today's post will cover our time in the hospital. For Camden's privacy, I am going to keep certain details private but will try to cover all of the main parts.

I would like to start by saying that there is not a single thing I would change about our adoption story. It was imperfectly perfect as I like to say. I dreamed of the day I would meet our son. In my dreams, it was the perfect day filled with happy tears, joy, and all kinds of love. I even dreamed of being in the delivery room the moment he was born. It was a picture perfect moment in my dreams. Unfortunately, adoption comes from a state of brokenness and the day we met our son was not the picture perfect day like I imagined.

It started with the fact we had drove all night long and got maybe 1.5 hours of sleep in our car. We were extremely exhausted but HIGH on adrenaline and caffeine. We were so excited to meet our son. The plan was to meet the social worker at 9 am in the lobby of the hospital. By 9:20, we were wondering if we were at the wrong hospital. Imagine knowing your son is a few floors above you and you are moments away from meeting him for the first time...

"ain't noboby got time for slow pokes."

Our social worker finally arrived around 9:25 and we anxiously made our way up to the labor and delivery floor. Once we got there, we were taken in to a waiting room where a nurse came out and said that the doctor would be coming to speak with us but our son was being moved to a children's hospital for further testing. That's all she could tell us. At this point, I started to panic on the inside but made sure I didn't startle Craw. I'm not going to lie, I was scared. We were in a strange place, with no family, no friends, we hadn't even met our son yet. For the next TWO hours (yes, TWO) we waited to speak with a doctor. We were literally 100 feet away from the private nursery where Camden was sleeping and we couldn't see him. It was agony.

Finally the doctor came in and explained that Camden was born with a low resting heart rate and she wanted to have him fully evaluated since we had no medical history on him. Their hospital was unable to perform the tests he needed so he was being transferred. I felt better knowing this was just a precautionary measure. She then asked if we were ready to meet or son.

These were our first moments with our sweet Camden Ivey. I let Craw hold him first and it was so special to watch him.

We were both so happy. He was hooked up to all kinds of wires and machines so it was a little intimidating to hold him. There were also tons of nurses and doctors in there watching us because they knew that we were there to adopt him. I really can't blame them because I would have wanted to watch too but it definitely made us a little uncomfortable.

After about 3 hours, the transport team from the children's hospital showed up. It broke my heart seeing him on the stretcher but they said that I could ride with him in the ambulance. That was a surreal experience.



This is where we started to melt down. My phone died and due to toll roads, Craw got separated from the ambulance. I had no idea where he was and that was a little scary. Once we got to the children's hospital, we were taken up to a room. I was told we would have a private room and when we got up there, we were in a double room with another baby. I was really bummed about this because I had yet to bond with my baby in private.

Craw finally made it to the hospital and we quickly realized that we needed sleep and we were not going to get it in a NICU sharing the room with another baby/family. We contacted the Ronald McDonald house and were originally told they did not have any room for us but got a call back about an hour later stating they had cleaned a room just for us. WHAT A BLESSING! By this point, I was tired, my spirits were really down, and I had yet to bond with my baby because he was hooked to so many wires. Not that picture perfect moment that I imagined in my dreams. Our phones were blowing up and we had no idea what our next steps were. Even if we were discharged, where would we go? We knew Craw had to fly back home in 3 days and it was just all too much to process. I actually called my mom in tears and asked that she send out a mass text to update everyone for me. I was so overwhelmed and just needed sleep.

Craw and I decided that it was best for both of us if we left at 6 and went to a nice dinner and then to the Ronald McDonald house for a hot shower and some sleep. I cannot say enough how impressed I was with the Ronald McDonald house. It blessed my family so much when we needed it the most. The hotel across the street was going to be $150 for ONE NIGHT. I'm pretty sure our room at the Ronald McDonald house was nicer than the hotel room we would have been in and it was free. That was such a God moment for us.

We slept 10 hours straight and it was glorious. We couldn't wait to see Camden and I found myself actually excited that day. We woke up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the day, whatever may lie ahead. This was the day that I bonded with my baby boy for the first time. He was able to get rid of some wires and Craw and I got to spend the whole day with him, just the three of us. It was heavenly and filled with so many sweet moments. It got even sweeter when the doctor came by and said that Camden passed all of his tests with flying colors and we could go home if we were ready. That was another blessing because we never expected that to come so soon.

Camden was in the hospital for a total of 2 days which is the normal amount for a healthy newborn. Seeing as we were transferred to a children's hospital, it's amazing he didn't have to stay longer. This was just the beginning of all of the ways that God blessed us on our adoption journey.

A few photos from day two in the hospital...AKA discharge day!

While our first day with him may not have been like my dreams, it is our story and I will always cherish it being part of our story. Every single detail was orchestrated by God and led us to our son so I'm okay that it may not have been the picture perfect day. I will absolutely never forget that life changing day because it's the day that he made me a mama. Stay tuned for the next adoption post as I can't wait to tell the next part of our journey. It still blows my mind to this day.



To my baby boy...

It’s been a while and there is so much of Camden’s story that I still need to share and I plan to in the near future. However, today is my last day at home with my sweet boy. After 8 glorious weeks, I will be returning to work tomorrow and I wanted to capture my thoughts and feelings before I do in a letter that I will one day share with Camden.

Camden Ivey,

I have so many emotions flooding through me today as I spend my last day at home with you. You are currently napping so it’s the perfect opportunity to write you this letter. Exactly 8 weeks ago, I received a call that forever changed my world. I never expected the call to come so soon but it turns out it was the blessing we didn’t even realize we needed. You are our blessing. Our journey to you wasn’t the easiest but God promised to fulfill the desires of my heart in His timing and He certainly did just that. 

The first two weeks with you are best described as a rollercoaster experience. We had to say goodbye to daddy for a week and that just about broke your mamas heart. However, it made me realize that I can be self sufficient and that I will always do anything for you. It also made me realize that I’m a good mama and that I need to allow myself grace as I was always questioning if I was doing the whole parenting thing correctly. You, of course, were the best baby in those 2 weeks and were what got your daddy and I through the wait for travel approval. You were our miracle in motion and we just had to be patient and wait.

The next six weeks were spent at home where I got to watch and learn from you every day. You sure did change super fast. Before I knew it, you were holding your head up, smiling, cooing, eating and sleeping like a champ, and being a joy to everyone around you. You even let mama sleep in some days. You especially loved our lunch dates with friends and daddy. Our nights were filled with lots of daddy snuggles and you definitely became a pro at eating out. Mama promises to do a better job cooking soon. You also fell in love with your brother, Hank, and loved his kisses. Sometimes I would catch you staring at him and I know y’all will be best friends one day.

These 8 weeks were the best of my entire life. Don’t get me wrong, they had some hard moments, but you were/still are/always will be worth it. Tomorrow things are going to be a little different. You’re not going to see me as much during the day but you’re going to have the best time at your Aunt Rebekah’s. But don’t you worry, our nights will consist of all the Camden snuggles you can imagine. I’ve often thought what it would be like if I was a stay at home mom and the truth is, I’m going to be the best version of myself for you as a full time working mom. I will certainly miss you like crazy during the day but it will not take away a single ounce of love I have for you. If anything, it’s going to make me love you more because time is going to be more precious to me. You are a gift to us that we will never take for granted and I fully believe that one day, you will change the world for the better. God started writing your story the day you were conceived and your daddy and I are honored that He saw fit to make you ours. I love you with all my heart and I promise that the best is yet to come.

Love always,

Your Mama